Halloween Post-Survival Guide – Attack of the Zombies


Now that I successfully made it through another Halloween season as a still single girl, I can sit back and reflect.

It’s like after a huge zombie attack. I am one of the few left sitting at the top of a tall building, watching the madness below me. But I am safe. I am single and I wasn’t held back when the zombies attacked. Instead of fighting about what to do, what the plan is and which way to go, I just ran. I ran and ran and ran, without looking back. And I found a safe spot to perch and watch. I watched all the couples, concerned about the other, waiting a bit too long get their faces eaten off. I watched all the single girls waiting for a guy to come and save them, get seduced and then swallowed alive by a zombie guy. I watched all the single guys checking out the girls, completely oblivious that zombies were gnawing on their legs.

funny zombie

And I sit, carefree, looking across the lands at all the destruction and I know I’m safe. I’m not in a relationship, I don’t want to pursue anyone and I’m completely fine by myself this Halloween. I went to a party and went home by myself, got enough sleep and woke up peacefully in my own bed. It was fun and it was calm.

funny-zombie-sayings-2-293x300

Last year my Halloween was destroyed by a guy who dumped me 3 hours before Halloween festivities. The year before I went home miserable after searching all night for a man. The year before my ex found me slumped on the doorway of his apartment building, drunk, barely able to comprehend how I got there. The year before I almost got in a fight with a guy because he wouldn’t stop harassing me. And the year before that my ex got in a fight with a group of people and got us kicked out of the party we paid $100 to get into before we even got through the line. And so on…

This year I learned how to pack my survival guide and get out before the zombie attack began.

funny douchebag ecard

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s