Halloween Post-Survival Guide – Attack of the Zombies

Now that I successfully made it through another Halloween season as a still single girl, I can sit back and reflect.

It’s like after a huge zombie attack. I am one of the few left sitting at the top of a tall building, watching the madness below me. But I am safe. I am single and I wasn’t held back when the zombies attacked. Instead of fighting about what to do, what the plan is and which way to go, I just ran. I ran and ran and ran, without looking back. And I found a safe spot to perch and watch. I watched all the couples, concerned about the other, waiting a bit too long get their faces eaten off. I watched all the single girls waiting for a guy to come and save them, get seduced and then swallowed alive by a zombie guy. I watched all the single guys checking out the girls, completely oblivious that zombies were gnawing on their legs.

funny zombie

And I sit, carefree, looking across the lands at all the destruction and I know I’m safe. I’m not in a relationship, I don’t want to pursue anyone and I’m completely fine by myself this Halloween. I went to a party and went home by myself, got enough sleep and woke up peacefully in my own bed. It was fun and it was calm.


Last year my Halloween was destroyed by a guy who dumped me 3 hours before Halloween festivities. The year before I went home miserable after searching all night for a man. The year before my ex found me slumped on the doorway of his apartment building, drunk, barely able to comprehend how I got there. The year before I almost got in a fight with a guy because he wouldn’t stop harassing me. And the year before that my ex got in a fight with a group of people and got us kicked out of the party we paid $100 to get into before we even got through the line. And so on…

This year I learned how to pack my survival guide and get out before the zombie attack began.

funny douchebag ecard

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