Starbucks Matchmaker


“Most people can’t find love because they’re picky, they overanalyze and they find things wrong in people. We call them flaw finders.” – Patti Stanger, Millionaire Matchmaker.

penispicking

True story.

I’ve been told by my friends there is a new matchmaker in town. One that is way better than the Millionaire Matchmaker. This matchmaker never yells at you, it never judges. It brings a new selection of men every time you visit, even if you show up in your pajamas with no makeup. You can sit back, sip some fresh coffee and shop for a husband.

I had no idea this magical place existed until I suffered several failed relationships/quasi-relationships from finding men in other places.

I’ve been told, “why did I waste so much time trying to date men I met in bars or work or school or at yoga.” Clearly, I was an amateur and I had no idea what I was doing.

But now that I know, I am sure to be married in no time at all.

starbucks love

puke.

This new matchmaker is named Starbucks and unbeknownst to me, all you have to do is show up and you will run into your soul mate. And that’s pretty much it. The first man you see when you walk in, that is him, your future husband. Because Patti told us not to be picky, and Starbucks matchmaker told us anyone will do.

Now, stop complaining and go get him!

Ps. There’s another matchmaker on the other side of the tracks called POF, aka the Dumpster Diving Matchmaker. More details coming soon.

starbucks wedding

Seriously?! Somebody kill me now.

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