All Over A Phone Charger

It took me months to start to feel like a normal person again after the iceberg struck the ship A and I were sailing. When I finally started to crawl out of my hole, I felt like I had just been tossed out of a car door on the side of the street, in the gutter, with no idea where or who I am. And as soon as I was ready to re-enter the world, my friends were there, waiting to scoop me up and repair my damaged soul.


The vultures smell the fresh meat of a newly single girl.

I started going out to bars once again and the vultures smelled fresh, wounded meat. I was the perfect prey. I was a damaged soul that didn’t remember I had any standards. The first vulture to land was the one who caught me.

Disappearing D treated me like shit. But I didn’t care, I was at my lowest and he knew he could.

I was a trained sexy monkey for him. He called and I came over. He pounded me and then smoked weed and passed out.

One night I came over, D pounded me and then left me in his apartment.

He left me a note.

“Will be right back.

-<3 D.”

I sat and waited.

For an hour.

douchebag text message 1

WTF does “go to sleep, it’s chill” even mean?!

Then I texted him.

He didn’t respond for another 30 minutes.

“Sry babe. Will be right back.” (Don’t worry, the “sry” issue will be addressed in another blog coming soon.)

I waited.

Another hour went by. I entertained myself by swiping through Tinder.

I called him. He picked up and I said,

“When are you coming back? What should I do until you get back? I have no food. I don’t even know how to turn on the television.”

He said, “I’m so sorry, my friend is having a crisis and I won’t be back for awhile.”

I said, “what is awhile? It’s already been 2 and a half hours. Should I just leave?”

He said, “no babe, don’t leave. I’ll be back soon.”

And so I waited some more.

Another hour.

Texted him again.

No answer.

Called him again.

No answer.

So then I finally came to my senses and decided to leave (It was now almost 1:00am). I angrily grabbed all my stuff, vowed to never come back again and locked the door behind me.

It was as I heard the door clicking behind me that I realized I left my phone charger inside.


My attempt at fighting back.


I looked down at my phone and saw I had only 6%.

Now I furiously started texting and calling him.

I drove home.

I continued to text him with the remaining juice I had left.

I got home and put my phone next to my pillow, knowing it would soon turn off.

As I was finally drifting off, my phone starts to vibrate.

“Sry” again.

He says he will be back by 2:30. It is now 1:30.

Now I am furious and I am texting him back so furiously I could have won a texting race.

I am counting down the seconds before my phone turns off, time is not to be wasted to rip him a new asshole.

I do not want to talk to him ever again. I’ve decided to buy a new charger in the morning and leave my old charger as the price of my stupidity. But for now, I must make him pay for his charger consolation prize.

My phone finally shut down on me.


My attempt to fight back ended with an I’m sry.

I go to sleep and never talk to Disappearing D again.

All because of a phone charger, I was able to cut off a vulture.

Welcome back to the trenches.

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