Upside Down


There are new chapters in my saga coming soon….I promise. No more sniffling about the Great Heartbreak of 2013.  Well that is, as long as he stays away from me the rest of my life. Cross your fingers for my sake…and for this blog’s sake. (Him, in case you’re not privy, is the yoga teacher)

Anyways, for now, I will leave you with my ball of confusion because this is what I feel like when I have to deal with him.

word_confusion_by_hugodg

the world is upside down. nothing seems right. black is red and blue is white. there are pink polka dots and black and white stripes. the colors are patterns and none of the patterns belong. i am lost in a world that i can’t get out of. and no one else knows because no one else is here.

spiderweb blue

 

the spiders are crawling all around me. they want to spin me in their web. the web is beautiful, the patterns make sense. but i am stuck. i try to break free but nothing matters any longer. the bright blue mother comes and i am trapped in her cocoon. the web no longer makes sense. the pattern turns into confusion. the confusion grows brighter until i cannot see any more. finally the white light comes and takes me away. i am finally free. but never, ever do i understand.

spider web mess

god i love to turn my little blue world upside down

 

inside my head the noise
chatter chatter chatter chatter chatter
you see i’m afraid i’ll always be
still coming out of my mother
upside down

don’t you love to turn this little blue girl upside down?
i know you love to turn this little blue girl baby upside down
but my heart it says you’ve been
shatter shatter shatter shatter shattered
and i know you’re still a boy
still coming out of your mother

but when you gonna stand on your own?
i say the world is sick
you say, ‘tell me what that makes us darlin’
you see you always find my faults
faster than you find your own
you say the world is getting rid of her demons
i say ‘baby what have you been smokin’
well i dreamed i dreamed i dreamed
i loved a black boy
my daddy would scream

don’t you love to turn this little blue girl upside down?
any kind of touch i think is better than none
even upside down
but you see i’m tangled up
got a kitten kitten kitten in my hair
Cincinnati – i like the word
it’s the only thing we can’t seem
to turn upside down

well i found the secret to life
i found the secret to life
i’m okay when everything is not okay

don’t we love to turn our little blue world upside down?
don’t we love to turn our little blue world baby upside down?
inside my head a voice
chatter chatter chatter chatter chatter
and it says ‘girl you’re all the same
still comin’ out of your mother
upside down’

~tori amos

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