As the world turns…

My life is pretty much a soap opera, like this one used to be.

In my post “Invasion of the Exes” I wrote about a chance encounter with an ex that turned into a soap opera. I ran into this ex the first night my girlfriend was in town visiting me, yadda yadda, my best friend and my ex’s best friend are now getting married after one month.

This is typically what I look like when I retell this story.

And because I skipped over the best parts, all the yadda yadda parts went like this. (in one, very long, breath) We went home with the two guys, I found out my ex had a girlfriend only after we almost had sex, my friend and his friend started dating the next week, and two weeks later moved in with him, my ex, and my ex’s new girlfriend. Last weekend I attended their engagement party and in a couple of weeks I will be attending their wedding. True story, no soap opera writers needed.

Right after this, I’ll tell you what I was gonna say. Don’t worry about it right now.

Are you kidding me? That’s what you’ve been meaning to tell me?!

At the engagement party I got to meet the ex’s new girlfriend, which would make this the second time in a month I got to meet “the girl that replaced me”. Read about that disaster story here.

The other girl.

The other girl again.

This time, I kept it together because I learned my lesson from last time of mixing alcohol with a situation like that. I didn’t drink any alcohol, and I allowed myself to leave early. Crisis averted for now, but the wedding is still on its way.

Yep. That’s me last time.

Despite the smooth sailing of the party, it makes me wonder what evil twist of fate has made me come face to face with another replacement girl. Is this karma for something I did to one of the other guys I dated? I think back and wonder who I was so evil to. A few stories cross my mind, but nothing that seemed relevant to this karmic punishment. I was never one to show off my new men to any of the previous ones to make them jealous. I know of girlfriends that do that, and this type of punishment would seem fitting for them.

Why am I being punished…*sob*

There is one, however, that has been on my mind recently. He is the one that I have often written about in my blog, because he was always “the one”. But alas, the timing was wrong, and I got scared and pushed him away. And I did this by distracting myself with other men, and he knew this. And it hurt him. So maybe karma is dealing me out the cards for what I did to him. Although it seems unfair because I already lost him in the process.

That’s what I feel like…if only my ex was on tv.

And then…the world turns. Things turn upside down and I walk into a replica of him the night after the engagement party last weekend. I am instantly attracted to him, and he is to me. I feel myself transported back to the night when I met “him”. He gets my number that night, and we talk the next day, but he lives far away. What is the reason for this? If I am supposed to learn my lesson from him the first time, how come I am not able to prove I have changed this time. This may have been the only chance I had to change my cruel fate. But history has repeated itself, he is gone, and I am left with another round of emptiness and despair, with no way to change my relationships from here on.

So dramatically: “how will I ever love again?”

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