Survival Guide for a Single Halloween Year 3

This year Halloween has come and gone without much excitement. Sure, I attended Halloween parties. But when you’re not having casual sex, it turns out Halloween is not so much fun. And, try dressing up in a cute costume when you’re trying to take yourself seriously. Slutty turns into cutesy. Because cutesy never gets laid on Halloween.

I was looking back through my archives and realized I started this blog 2 years ago, around the time of Halloween. The fuel for me writing this blog was how to deal with my first ever single Halloween. I had always done couples costumes within one relationship or the other and felt out of sorts when it came to planning out a single girl’s costume. I was excited to dress up slutty and get the attention I wanted at Halloween parties.

slutty halloween costume funny cartoon

Well, now that I got my fill of the Halloween single scene, this is the third year in a row that I am still….single on Halloween. And to top it off, I can’t even soothe myself with random casual sex this year. Being single on Halloween is great for one reason: what happens on Halloween, stays there. Amazing casual sex is okay because you are a slutty cat, not yourself for one night. Any other scenario is just…pathetic.

slutty halloween costume party funny

Case in point. My Halloween escapades consisted of: night one, dressing up in a cutesy animal costume which really was only sexy if you are turned on by the idea of furries. Going to a Halloween party with a group of single girls who were all way hotter and sexier than me. Going home at the end of the night, dragging two girlfriends apart after fighting over who was being hit on by the sexy “Brett Michaels”. I was readily available to break up the fight because I was, of course, not talking to anyone cute and interesting. We were all in bed, alone, by 3 that night.

Night two consisted of a single girl’s outing to a Haunted House. Hoping for some cute guys to cling on to, we ended up in a line full of annoying teenagers that pushed us in before we were ready. We got scared shitless and grabbed onto eachother instead. We all ended up in bed alone and terrified that night.

someecard funny halloween slutty

Night three consisted of third-wheeling it at the Halloween parade in West Hollywood. Parade was entertaining. The barrage of cute couples costumes was sickening. Again, for the third time, I was in bed on time and alone.

One more year goes by, one more year I am single on Halloween. And this time, I don’t even get the satisfaction of the sex. It’s getting harder and harder to keep up this marathon.

rub vagina and get wish

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