This is the continuation of Invasion of the Exes Pt. 1, obviously, and is AKA The Worst Night of My Life. It took me about a week to recover enough to write this blog. Here it goes.
Before I begin the story, I am going to assign code names to everyone because all of the “friends” and “exes” even confuse me when I retell the story. It kind of reminds me of Alice in Wonderland, so here is the list of characters:
Alice: me, of course
White Rabbit: my friend who is now dating my ex’s roommate
Tweedle-dee: my friend’s roommate
Tweedle-dum: my ex whose roommate is dating my friend
Mad Hatter: my friend whose birthday it is during this story
Chesire Cat: my ex in this story (guy who I hooked up with several times)
Jabberwocky: the new girlfriend in this story
Red Queen: the new girlfriend in the last story
Caterpillar: my friend who I went to the party with
In the last episode of this story, I had run into my ex (Tweedle-dum) at a bar, he took me and my friend (White Rabbit) home with him and his roommate (Tweedle-dee), and only after he started to have sex with me, broke the news of his girlfriend (Red Queen) to me. Although our relations very abruptly ended following this, White Rabbit and Tweedle-dee remained together. In fact, two and a half weeks later, she moved in some of her stuff and they spend every waking moment together. This means that every time I want to hang out with her, I get a big earful of new information about my Tweedle-dum and the Red Queen, and their double dates. Flipping Fantastic.
In the beginning, I tried to stay positive about everything. After all, White Rabbit is my good friend and I am happy for her. So I pushed away all of my negative feelings about the awkward situation. However, pushing away feelings never mixes well with alcohol…especially in the face of another ex (Chesire Cat) and another new girlfriend. And of course, this is exactly what happened the fateful weekend that created this story.
Everything was going well. I was happy for White Rabbit, I was even hanging out with her and her Tweedle-dee, listening to all of her stories about their double dates with Tweedle-dum and Red Queen, who apparently is really “cool”. I gritted my teeth and covered up my anger and sadness with curiosity about their relationship. What I didn’t realize was that strategy was damaging me more than I imagined. And I didn’t realize it until the alcohol hit my body later that weekend.
I was scheduled to attend the birthday party of a friend (Mad Hatter)…who happens to be the friend of a guy I hooked up with a few times before (Chesire Cat). I was supposed to ride to the party with White Rabbit, but of course, White Rabbit cancelled last minute because her and Tweedle-dee decided to hang out instead. I was out of options, so I called my friend (Caterpillar), who happens to also be friends with Chesire Cat. He told me to come along with him and we ended up meeting everyone else at the home of Chesire Cat.
Wouldn’t have been an issue, except for the fact that the second I walk in, everyone is excitedly chatting about Chesire Cat’s new girlfriend. I felt sick to my stomach suddenly, and sat down to try to absorb all of this tortuous synchronicity. As soon as I sat down, said new girlfriend (Jabberwocky) prances in and introduces herself to me, personally. She was beautiful, as expected, the Jabberwockys always are.
Straight up shots of vodka followed, on a stomach of no dinner. Caterpillar tried to dissuade me from this stupidity, but I was in no state to listen to helpful advice any longer, I was possessed by my rejected feelings. We all took off for the bar, after what seemed like many hours of torture, and by the time we hit the table with bottles of vodka, I was already drunk. More drinks followed as I watched Chesire Cat and Jabberwocky cuddle in the dim lights of the bar.
In my drunk state, I apparently texted White Rabbit, and she and Tweedle-dee assessed the situation to be an emergency and showed up at the bar, long after I was completely obliterated. At this point in my adventure, I was happier than I have ever been in my life. I was hugging people, giving them compliments, and chatting up everyone that came in my vicinity. When Tweedle-dee showed up, I said many things I cannot recall about Tweedle-dum. I do not want to ever know what I said that night. Tweedle-dee got tired, as Tweedles usually do, and I followed White Rabbit to another bar. In the cab, my drunken state began to seep into my body, and I became green in the face from the driving. White Rabbit sent me in a cab back to the bar of the party, where I threw up in the trash can outside before re-entering. The room was spinning, and looking for a familiar face. I ran into Chesire Cat and Jabberwocky making out on one of the couches, and I stumbled away, right into the arms of Caterpillar, who realized my state and took me to the home of a mutual friend. I passed out in 2 minutes on the couch.
About an hour later I woke up in a panic, throwing up and then convulsing due to the amount of alcohol still in my body. I was terrified, and managed to find my phone and text a bunch of people, praying someone would still be up. Mad Hatter responded to my call for help and came over immediately, along with another girl I will call The Dodo, a friend of the Jabberwocky.
Dodo was also drunk and freaking out about losing her sister. I was throwing up and freaking out, I have never had such a bad reaction to alcohol in my entire life, hands down. I was half debating going to the hospital at this point. Mad Hatter decides to make the best of the situation, and takes us to his house. We are both still drunk, so we follow him.
At this point, it would be beneficial to mention that Mad Hatter is the roommate of Chesire Cat. When we arrive, the first thing I see through my vomit-induced haze are the shoes of Chesire Cat and Jabberwocky. While Mad Hatter is attempting to get lucky with the Dodo, I break out into a heaving cry. I am in the same house as him, but this time, on the outside of the door. This makes me even sicker and I crawl my way into the bathroom, which is right next to their bedroom door.
Dodo finally makes it out of the house alive, thanks to the help of her boyfriend, and Mad Hatter then shifts his attention back to me. I am vomiting into the toilet, and then I pass out on the floor of the bathroom. When I wake back up in a few minutes to vomit again, I am lying next to the crack of the bedroom door. I feel like the dog that has been kicked out of the bedroom, rejected and worthless. I break out into a heaving cry again, which makes me vomit again. Mad Hatter then makes his move and tries to persuade me into his bed. This adds another maniacal action into my routine that then lasts the rest of the night and early morning: vomit in the toilet, pass out on the bathroom floor, crying fit, and yelling at Mad Hatter to leave me alone and then Repeat.
I finally wake up at 7 in the morning and feel the surge of adrenaline that warns me to get off the bathroom floor before Chesire Cat and Jabberwocky wake up. If there is something worse than my night from hell, it would definitely be that. I drag my body off the floor, grab my stuff and somehow make it to a friend’s house who lives down the street, banging on her door until she wakes up and lets me in. Finally, I am out of Wonderland and in a safe place to rest my head for the rest of the day.
When I finally wake up later that day, my head is spinning, and I am finally able to admit how upset I am about everything. I am no longer happy about life, and everything has gone to shit. The turmoil that existed inside, hidden away, has burst to the surface like a volcano. I can deny it no more. For now, the Jabberwocky has defeated me.