Married (Beer) Goggles

You are all familiar with the term “Beer Goggles”, right? Well for those few of you who don’t know, here is how it works.

Beer Goggles turn this:

ugly rat funny

into this:

cute furry mouse with bear

In other words, you get wasted and at the end of the night take home Ryan Gosling, only to realize in the morning it is not Ryan Gosling… Or anything close.

Now that you all get the concept of Beer Goggles (see I am an educator as well!) I would like to coin another term while this concept is still fresh in your mind:

Married Goggles

Married goggles are very similar to Beer Goggles in that the vision is impaired in the same way. However, the cause of this impairment is not alcohol. It is a committed, loving relationship. And the evaluation is not for the person in the relationship, but for their single friend.

Here is the scenario. I am the single girl. My friends in committed relationships want me to have a boyfriend so bad that they constantly try to set me up. However, their love of their relationship and their desperation to find me a man clouds their vision. Exactly the same as Beer Goggles would.

So, NO. I am not dating your boyfriend’s friend, coworker, cousin, guy you bumped into on the street, weirdo guy giving me crazy eyes at the restaurant, just so you can fulfill your own need of me being in a relationship. I can see just fine.

funny eye chart drunk

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