A Lost Love Story part 1


I haven’t shared an actual story of mine recently, so I thought it would be about time to do that. This is one from last year, right before I met my relationship boy of several months that caused me to go on single girl blog writing hiatus. It is an oldie, but for certain a goodie. In fact, if I search through my blog posts of last year, I may be able to find a few that I wrote about him. I’m hoping that after I write about this story of heartbreak, I will be able to have the courage enough to write about my current drama…

Last year I was working at a university and within my department I met a guy who I began to flirt with every time we saw each other. We did not see each other every day, but during this time of intense flirting, we would go out of our way to seek each other out. Everyone we worked with knew we liked each other, but we didn’t care.  Slowly but surely our flirting interactions turned into coffee on campus. We escaped one afternoon, found a place high above everyone else and shared some coffee and a pastry. We talked about life and love, and shared some intimate, soul-touching moments. We looked down below us at everyone else, and at the beautiful colors of the setting sky and nothing else mattered at that time.

We escaped from work a few more times, but never took it beyond the campus. We both moved on and dated a few other people and then one day bumped into each other again. We smiled and made a remark that we should actually go on a date outside of campus. After seeing each other again, the spark was rekindled and we knew this time we should do something about it.

So he invited me for a ride on his motorcycle. I gladly accepted, as this would be my first motorcycle ride ever. Seemed fitting for an exciting on and off again hidden work affair. We made a plan to escape work on a certain afternoon both of our bosses would be gone, a couple of weeks later.

I did not see him in any of the days leading up to our planned date. As the day drew closer, I was giddy. The excitement of seeing him again and the thrill of a motorcycle ride in the beautiful coastal winding road was an image that was too romantic to contain.

Then the day came, and I did not see him anywhere still. I decided that he was on a business trip and that is why I hadn’t seen him for many days. He must have been running late from his trip, so I did not worry. I have a tendency for catastrophic thinking, but I managed to keep that in check that day. But, as the hours in the day moved forward and I had still no text from him, I began to worry. My insecurities began to set in as well. I was being abandoned, he did not really like me, and so on.

And then the hour of our date came and went. And then the next, and the next. I was crushed, but also concerned. I was conflicted. Was I rejected or did something happen? What would be worse?

Walking around campus, trying to walk out my conflicted feelings I happened to hear his name. Someone was talking about him. I casually walked up to the people talking, pretending to be on my own mission, completely unrelated to the topic they were discussing. They said that he had missed his meeting earlier that day and they could not get a hold of him. The girl said she was going to ask his boss if he had heard from him, and I sneakily followed her and stood close to the door as they talked. He said he had not heard from him either, and then the boss called him. He answered his phone.

“Where are you? Oh really? Oh wow, that is horrible, I am so sorry. No, it is fine, don’t worry about a thing, just rest up, get better and call me when you get out.”

I was dying to know what happened. As I strained my ear to hear what the boss would describe to the girl co-worker, my phone rang loudly. I jumped and ran away from his office. As I looked down, I saw his name on my phone. I ran as fast as I could to a safe corner and answered the call.

He explained to me that he was so sorry that he missed our date. He had just woken up in the hospital and did not remember why he was there. As he came around in the last few hours, he put the pieces of his life back together through hospital staff and policemen. They told him he had been in a serious motorcycle accident the previous morning and been knocked unconscious. He was lucky to be alive in the way the truck hit his motorcycle. He had massive injuries in several parts of his body, including his groin, but relatively injury-less. With an accident that severe, he should have been a lot worse.

I was in shock when I got off the phone with him. I replayed everything, and let my mind wander and think about what would have happened if the accident happened a day later. Would he have survived and I died? What did this all mean? I was speechless. What was the coincidence that after all this time of us knowing each other and flirting, his accident happened the day before our first actual date? It had to mean something and I was determined to figure it out.

To be continued…

 

And so
Annie waits, annie waits, annie waits
For a call
From a friend
The same
It’s the same
Was it always the same?
Annie waits for the last time 

The clock never stops, never stops, never waits 
She’s growing old 
It’s getting late 
And so he forgot, he forgot 
Maybe not 
Maybe he’s been seriously hurt 
Would that be worse? 

Headlights crest the hill 
Shadows pass her by and out of sight 
Annie sees her dreams: 
Friday bingo, pigeons in the park 
Annie waits for the last time 
Just the same as the last time 

Annie says “you see this is why I’d rather be alone. 
And so 
Annie waits, annie waits, annie waits 
For a call 
From a friend 
The same 
It’s the same 
Was it always the same? 
Annie waits as the last… 

Headlights crest the hill 
Who will be the one for evermore? 
Annie, I could be 
If we’re both still lonely when we’re old 

Annie waits for the last time 
Just the same as the last time 
Annie waits for the last time 
Just the same as the last time 

Annie waits 
But not for me

~Ben Folds

2 thoughts on “A Lost Love Story part 1

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