A tribute to the pick-up artist book, The Game. This may as well be a book in itself, so read on only if you’re extremely bored and have lots of time on your hands…
This subject has been a long time coming. Late last year my girlfriends and I bought the book, The Game. Why did we spend money on some lame dude pickup artist book? Because we started to hear a lot about this book through the grapevine of friends’ boyfriends’ friends…etc. And then the week before we bought it some strange events occurred. My friend went to a guy’s house she had been dating, maybe the 3rd date or so. She snooped around his house as typical of the first time you walk into a guy’s house you’ve been dating. She sees “The Game” in the bookshelf and grabs it out.
“Oh I’ve been hearing a lot about this book” she asks.
“please don’t read that, it’s stupid” he replies.
“well then why do you have it?”
“I don’t know, it’s just stupid guy stuff”. She thumbs through it and puts it down, but immediately reports back to me that it was spotted at his house and what does that mean about him?
During the same week, I go out on Friday night and get wasted. This happens to be one of those nights that starts out boring and then you find someone who changes all that. A once in a blue moon kind of people. You look at him and he looks at you and sparks fly. You know in a heartbeat you are going home with this guy. So that’s what happens. And I find out after we have the hottest, hands-down best sex of my life that he is 21. Okay, well let’s put him in the booty call pile. I am happy with myself for snagging a super hot 21 year old guy and I fall asleep after hours of sex. I wake up to the sun blazing in my eyes, so I shift my body around to face the floor and squint my eyes open for a moment. The room is a mess, it looks like a dorm. Clothes thrown everywhere. I try to see if I can spot all of my accessories and under garments. And then, I spot it. THE book lying on the floor. “Fuck!” I say to myself. Did I just get trapped in one of the “Game” techniques described in this book? I try to reach my arm to grab it without moving the bed, but no matter how much I strain, it is too far away. I now have to have this book.
So I buy it. And one night, a group of us girls read “The Game” over a bottle of wine. We marvel over how many of the pick up techniques we have heard lately in bars. We laugh hysterically over them and how much none of them actually worked on us. I was relieved to find that I was not a victim of the Game that fateful booty call night.
But more importantly, we realized we had entertainment for the night. It was the weekend. The bars were hopping full of guys freshly polished on their pick up techniques they read in this book. And here, we had it. The ammunition to use against their ammunition. We had the upper hand.
There are three of us, so we decide to each load our gun with one of the techniques and find out if they work in reverse. We were set out to give these guys a taste of their own medicine.
Let’s just call my friend E., the girly who was assigned the well-known technique of ‘negging’. “Negging” is the pick up technique of giving a girl a back-handed compliment. Guys believe that girls will get upset by this comment and then work harder to get the guy’s attention and impress him. We gave this to E. because she has an already well-established negging technique reserved for the LA d-bags.
My friend, D. is the girly who was assigned the technique of talking to the ugly friend. In this technique, you single out the least attractive girl (or in our case, guy) of the group and talk to her. According to the book, the prettier friend or friends will get upset and vy for the guy’s attention. Which will in turn, make her fawn over the guy for the rest of the night. D. is given this technique because she is naturally friendly and talkative with everyone.
I was assigned the easiest, yet hardest technique of taking a picture with a guy. This is supposed to give the guy the chance to get close to the girl, touch her, and make a magical connection or something stupid. I have seen this method evolve into taking a picture with a girl using a smartphone, which allows the guy to then get your number to send the picture to you. It really does work every time…granted the guy is a good enough picture-taker. The key is to take many different pictures until the girl is happy with it. But I digress.
We walk in to the bar that night, guns loaded. We all take a shot and D. is the first up. We pick out a group of guys with a clear winner for least attractive friend. D. walks up, smiles at the cute guys, and walks right past them. She engages in deep conversation with him. He is confused, awkward, and squirmy. Clearly this is foreign to him. When he is out with his friends, the hot girls ignore him and talk to his friends. The hot friends keep trying to get her attention, but she acts more interested in the friend when they do. We maintain our distance so as to preserve the natural habitat of this interaction. Eventually, the hot friends get frustrated and stomp away. D. gracefully leaves the conversation as only she could get away with, but the hot guys never approach her again. Technique #1 has failed.
We move to a new bar and E. is up. We are all skeptical of ‘negging’ because it has never once worked on any of us. And we have heard a lot of them. But who knows, maybe guys work differently. E. picks out a guy with a plaid shirt on and marches up to him. “I love your shirt, I want to have a picnic on it”. The guy tries to laugh it off, but is clearly offended. Their conversation ends shortly after that. She goes in again. A guy with a ski hat on: “you are so cute, like a sock puppet!” We see the guy’s face change from flattered to disgust in a split second. He walks away. We are laughing hysterically, but clearly technique #2 has failed.
We move to a new bar and I am up. Mine is easy, yet very difficult. I realize once I rub into a guy while taking a picture with him, he will be attached to me like glue the rest of the night. I have to choose carefully. I take time choosing and it gets late. Towards the end of the night, I figure I should just go for it because we can escape for a taxi if he gets too clingy. Drunk, I take a picture with the first guy I see, I lean into him, holding him in a half hug. He wants more and tries to grab me back. Technique #3 has succeeded and we bolt out the door for a cab, him trailing after us.
In the cab, we try to make out the fuzzy details of the night. Techniques 1 and 2 were a bust. We figured as much because these techniques don’t work on us either.
In technique #1, the hotter friend thinks you are interested in the less hot friend and eventually leaves the love birds alone. Sure, their ego is bruised, but not enough to be a jerk and steal someone away from their friend.
In technique #2, no one likes to be insulted, ever. Period. Maybe except for a few extremely aggressive guys that are rare. You can read about them here.
Technique #3 clearly worked. It worked because a girl came up to a guy and rubbed against them. Well, duh. I would say, the other way around, this technique would not work. Guys would most likely get slapped. Stick with the newest evolution of this technique: take a picture of her and her friend and then get her number to send it to her. That is a clever way to get a number.