In the age before the internet and cell phones that had texting capabilities there was something called “pen pals”. This was back when people still wrote letters to people, and having a real pen pal was cool. I remember I always wanted one from France so I could practice my poor French skills I learned from watching Canadian Sesame Street. But of course that never happened because I never knew how to get in touch with someone from France in the pre-internet days.
Then…the birth of the internet. I began to find real pen pals across the country. Sure, they were most likely old men stalkers, but hey, I’m still alive now so I guess it all worked out in the end.
Then came the birth of the text message and the next wave of pen pals: TEXT PALS. At first text pals were the friends that lived across the country or too far away to see every day. But soon that turned into what we have today. Text pals are friends that live down the street from us. Text pals are guys we’re dating. Text pals are guys we don’t like. Text pals are exes and/or booty calls.
And let me just tell you. That has turned into an annoying new dating trend: the quasi dating TEXT PAL. In other words, guys who you dated for awhile but who can’t commit to anything more yet don’t want to let you think you’re free yet. They want the option to be able to date other people, but don’t want to have to give you up as an option. So they string you along so that you can’t ever completely move on.
They are out there dating, exploring their options, having sex. And you, the emotional girl is left feeling guilty about dating other guys because twice a week you get a text message from your TEXT PAL.
And here is how his game is played:
Annoying text pal: “hey you, how’s it going?” Point for TP: 15 love.
YOU: “it’s okay, i had a bad day at work. how are you?” Point for YOU: 15 all.
TP: “okay cool, well hope you feel better soon” Point for TP: 30-15.
YOU: WTF? How do I respond to that? So then you end up saying something that requires no response, just so you are the last one to text. Which of course will mean the ball is in his court. “thanks ‘:)'” Point for YOU: 30 all.
TP: “np” Point for TP: 40-30 and then “:)”
Point for TP and that is game. set. match.
Another example from my girlfriend:
TP: “what are your plans this weekend?” (as an aside, I just have to comment about how evil this one is because we are fully expecting you to plan a date now)
GIRL: “not much, might go out of town on Sunday”
TP: “yeah i’ve been thinking about getting out of town lately”
GIRL: What does this mean? This is clearly not an invite for a date…is he asking to join me on my trip? I better go the safe route. “yeah sometimes LA can be such a drag”
TP: “i hear you”
At this point he has clearly won. And now you are left hanging with this feeling of not knowing what actually took place in that conversation. Did you say something wrong? Why did he text in the first place? Shit! Now he knows I have nothing going on this weekend! Was he just checking up on me? Or was it a “don’t forget I’m here” thing so that you have that on your conscience when you hook up with some random guy this weekend.
Next time, we will be wiser. We are tired of losing every game and it’s our turn to win. Here is the winning strategy:
GIRL: (in response to any text message from TP) ……[insert answer to question here], why, what’s up?
This is how it works:
TP: “hey you still out of town?”
GIRL: “nope, why what’s up?” (notice here that using “nope” instead of “no” is much more whatever, I don’t care type of attitude)
TP: “not much, just hanging out”
GIRL: “cool ‘:)'”
Did you notice that subtle power shift? That means the game is finally YOURS.
And by the way, I am not limiting this to work with guys. This is just from my perspective. So if you guys out there have an annoying girl TP, then this would work in the same way. 😉
Now go play and knock those annoying TEXT PALS out of the game!