Putting the Rawness Back into Dating


This is what I’ve been missing…the rawness.

I’ve been on a few dates from online since I signed up again (read here). Everything looked great, they were attractive, tall enough, good job, income, funny, etc. in their profiles. We chatted and talked a few times on the phone, the conversations were pleasant and non awkward. One of the guys it even seemed like I had instant chemistry with via phone. But then the inevitable happens: we meet and the raw chemistry is just not there. We both know it and never talk again after hugging each other goodbye forever.

Night after night I go to the bar scene and scope for cute guys. Most of the time I find the ‘best yet’ which is the best looking guy I see that is not attached. Sometimes we exchange numbers and sometimes I hear back from them and sometimes we follow up with phone calls or a date. Again, we soon enough find out that the raw chemistry is not there and stop talking to each other.

And then, every once in a blue moon (or full moon in my case this month) I meet someone who is different. I look at him and the rawness shoots from my eyes and body to his and back. I want him and he wants me. At this point, what his job or income is doesn’t matter anymore. It doesn’t even matter what he looks like, according to my friends. No one else matters at this point. If we are lucky enough to be able to act on this rare lightning strike, we exchange numbers. (Unless of course, I don’t end up going home with him right away)

This month’s full moon gave this opportunity to me. Something so primal about this experience, meeting up with that lightning bolt person on a full moon night. We feel the raw energy the moment we see each other. Everything the other person says makes sense and everything about them is amazing. You are laughing, touching, you are not judging them, you are just experiencing every moment…waiting for the climax.

This…is what I forgot I missed about dating. The rawness. For every guy you don’t have chemistry with and try so hard to make it work… makes it so much more amazing when you find one of those lightning strikes and then…you remember what you were looking for all along. These are the people, whether your encounter lasts a moment or lifetime that you never, ever forget.

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