The Land of the Lost. In other words, Los Angeles. If you’ve never been here, you can’t relate. However, you may be able to pick out a person you know in your life that fits this description perfectly, and for some cosmic reason didn’t end up in the land where they belong, that is, LA.
We have implants everywhere (pun intended) and from everywhere. Any lost soul looking for fame, freedom, or running away from any type of problem. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining…I am included in this. However, this makes it extremely difficult to date in LA. Everyone is wearing a protective mask, and no one wants to focus on a relationship because everyone has a higher goal to achieve. Everyone is working way too long hours for their salary, and then the only free time for seeking a date is late night at the bar scene. That is, if you are one of the rare commodities that have sworn off online dating.
So you show up at a bar filled with people wanting to make a connection with other people, but all wearing their LA masks. They have long ago lost the ability to make a meaningful connection and have become jaded behind their masks. Everyone is trying way too hard to keep that mask on, even when they find someone they want to make a meaningful connection with. And then you end up with a bar full of people looking for one night stand or “short term dating”. We can have what feels like a meaningful connection through sex, and successfully avoid ever removing the mask.
So, this is the background of how all of my fruitless nights begin. One such interesting character I have found a lot of lately is the quasi-gay man. Maybe it’s because I have a particularly thick mask on lately since my breakup and therefore have managed to find the most unavailable men out there, or maybe I’m giving off some kind of weird gay sonar signals lately that is telling them it’s okay to use me for the night. Who knows, but in the last month and a half, I have managed to find and go home with two guys that were in retrospect, completely gay. I won’t go into X-rated details here, but after complete bewilderment I finally asked around. It was confirmed by several girlfriends as well as gay guy friends that gay guys do sleep with girls for many different reasons and that my recent experiences fit this category.
There are many masks gay guys can choose to put on, whether it’s to impress guy friends or to mask denial, or to just have a good time in another world for one night. However…this all leads to the burning question of: if I have been attracting a certain kind of in-denial gay guy, what kind of mask have I been wearing that is like a magnet for their ‘Look ma’, I’m not gay’ mask?