Guess what?!? I am now single. Right before Valentines Day! Yay me. Ever since I became single again I have been treated like I’m newly infected with leprosy. All of my single friends in relationships stopped inviting me out because they don’t want the leprosy (the idea of being single) to rub off onto their relationship somehow. What I’ve found out so far about this “single disease” is that does not spread via online chatting. Because all of my friends love to ‘pop up’ to give me advice about dating and finding the right man:
“Go back online”…”Have you ever tried speed dating?”…”My boyfriend has the cutest friend for you to meet”…”Why are you going to bars, good guys don’t go to bars”….”You’re going to the wrong bars”….”Join a running club, there are always cute guys there”…”You’re going to the wrong places”…”Be spontaneous, meet somebody while you’re in line at Starbucks”…”Why did you go to that singles’ event, only desperate people go to those”…and when they get really desperate….”have you talked to the X recently?”…”maybe you should try to work it out with him”
All I want to say is SHUT UP!!! I know you care, but why are you so desperate to get me back into a relationship? I tell my friends I am perfectly fine not dating anyone right now and need some time to myself. Their response? “You have such a bad attitude, you will NEVER meet anyone like that”. Why can’t they understand I am being honest, I am not in denial and I am not using reverse psychology. I just don’t want to jump back in right now. But this idea threatens their existence in a relationship. They cannot imagine being alone, it is terrifying, and me being alone is lurking in their consciousness. They want it to go away so they don’t have to imagine such a horrible situation so they try to fix it. And here I am being the ‘stubborn’ one.
I am not saying I am fine. I am miserable, I want it to go away too. But I just don’t want to do it again with the wrong person. And my friends, they want the wrong person rather than nothing. When did this become acceptable? Why don’t they see that they are the ones that are unhealthy because their self esteem is hinging on whether they are in a relationship or not.
So I just want to preach it to the masses: BEING SINGLE IS NOT A DISEASE. It is miserable and lonely, but you can live with it and you will survive. AMEN.