The Ex files have been re-opened. Maybe it’s due to the crushing crush. Or just because I feel like I need a little extra attention or affection lately, crush or no crush.
No, I haven’t done anything I regret, just innocent things that could potentially lead to disaster later, that’s all. Spending an exorbitant amount of time with one of them and trying to catch the attention of the other like I used to. In the beginning. How did I fall so hard that I ended up at the start again?
Here is the pattern:
Mad at ex, independent and fine without him, crush, in love, crush crushes, begging for attention from an ex, mad at ex, crush calls, in love with him again… and so on, you get the idea.
And now the question is, how do I get myself out of this pattern? Well, according to the game plan, the solution would be to remove the crush. It seems logical that I would then just walk right on over to the happy, independent side. But, as you can see, the crush is crushing, and is not easily removed.
Hmm…okay, here is another idea. Remove the exes.
It would seem then that I would have an alternate route around the crush. Maybe they are a bigger road block than the crush. Interesting thought, but at least one of the exes is always going to be around in some way, we have too much history. And I would much rather give up all the crushes in the world than him. So that leaves me with only one option.
In a path through unknown, scary territory. With all the roadblocks still there. Sometimes, the path will lead me back to the start, but that one time, it will lead me to the goal. I will look back, and realize all of the roadblocks are still there, but that it doesn’t matter anymore. I will be happy and independent, and those roadblocks will no longer hold power over my path.