Blowjobs Make the World Go Round


It’s not a coincidence that this is the post I come up with for Valentine’s Day…

Blowjobs. This is it. This is what every guy strives for, no matter what type of guy he is. Of course I am speaking metaphorically in a sense, every guy has their sex “thing”. Whether it’s doggy style, anal, or whatever, it doesn’t matter, there is always an ideal goal when it comes to sex. Unless they have a weird Fruedian sexual complex. But with most of the guys I’ve known, it’s a blowjob. That’s it. And once we get there, there is no going back. There is nothing else in the entire world they want from me, and therefore they stop trying to impress and woo me. Unless they think I’m going to hold out one night, but even then it’s not the same as it was before.

I thought it was the type of guys I was dating – the bad boys – until I changed my dating habits. I gave the nice ones a chance. And this is when I realized it doesn’t matter. They are all trying to reach the same goal, and once they reach it, it’s over. It reminds me of my favorite childhood books, Go Dog Go. Big dogs, little dogs, red dogs, blue dogs, yellow dogs, green dogs, black dogs, white dogs…doesn’t matter they’re all just dogs!

And, if you think I’m lying, here’s a little story for you. I started dating the sweetest, nerdiest guy you can imagine. He was head over heels for me and went out of his way to please me. He wanted to make sure I knew he loved everything about me, not just sexually.

The day came we finally had sex. He was very passionate, very giving…and then he went in for an attempted blowjob. First of all, I don’t ever do this the first time we have sex because I have learned there is no going back. Then they expect it…every single time. Second of all…I had a busted jaw from TMJ. He knew this. I could barely talk or eat without being in pain. Do you really think I’m going to be able to unhinge my jaw for that without pain?!

I yelled at him, No, I’m in pain! WTF. Seriously. Is that all you can think of? Give me a break. And that’s when reality hit me.

It’s not love, but blowjobs that make the world go round for these dogs.

Happy effin Valentine’s Day.

3 thoughts on “Blowjobs Make the World Go Round

  1. I’m glad I found your blog! I had an experience with a guy I was totally into not long ago – we fooled around for the first time finally – successful BJ given. He didn’t even attempt to do anything for me after the fact. BUT later wanted me to go down on him…again. Um, yeah, I don’t think so. I scratch your back…you better scratch mine!

  2. Pingback: My New Dating Technique: Yes I am a Bitch «

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s