The mystery of the 2nd date romp


Nancy Drew mystery

I loved Nancy Drew when I was a kid. I loved helping her solve the mysteries; it was an obsession of mine. However, I have not thought about solving mysteries since, well, since I was a kid. Last night, this all came back to me when I got…the mystery text.

In case you didn’t catch it on my Twitter feed, early last week I went on a second date with…well, let’s just call him Mr. 2nd date sex. And yes, that is how the night ended. I was turning 30 the following Saturday, so I thought, ‘hey, here’s one more for the 20’s’. Why not? He was attractive, but not relationship material in my book.

During this date, I had mentioned several times (yes, it was overkill) that it was my birthday on Saturday. Just for the record: not even once did he wish me a happy birthday. We had sex. We cuddled and listened to music afterwards. The next day I get no phone call or text. Not that I’m necessarily keeping track, but it is always interesting to see how the after texts/phone calls unfold. What will the aftertext be for sex on a 2nd date? ‘I had a nice time’ ‘Thanks for the romp, it was fun’ ‘I love you, will you marry me’

The entire week, no response. My birthday, no response. I stop thinking about it because I really don’t care that much. Then, last night I get the text.

‘Soooo….where you been? No word from you in a bit now’

Really?! I was the one who was supposed to contact you after that? What, exactly, was my aftertext supposed to say? ‘Thanks for letting me fuck you’

So, I say: ‘Where have YOU been? It was my birthday weekend, so I have been busy’.

His response: ‘What are you up to on Friday?’ Oh great, so now you have a free night and you now you want to hang out with me.

Again, no mention of a Happy Birthday, at any point. Which, btw, is huge for me. If you don’t wish me Happy Birthday, you’re out. It may seem a bit harsh, but it is just one of my things leftover from my childhood. I can’t change it. But, I digress..

I told him I was going to a movie until 8:30 or so. A bootycall test. Since it was an obvious bootycall question. But, he failed the test. He didn’t ask to see me afterwards. He just didn’t respond.

Now…WTF. I just don’t understand it. He doesn’t actually like me: he would have texted within the last week. Or wished me a Happy Birthday. He doesn’t want me as a bootycall: he would have proposed late night Friday.

So…what does he want? I am completely baffled. Maybe he won’t ever contact me again, which is fine with me. I will not be the one to contact him. I just don’t care enough.

However, it leaves me with an intriguing mystery. What does he want? And now, despite not being interested…I am interested. Just like Nancy Drew, I can’t give up on cracking a good mystery. And so it begins…

14 thoughts on “The mystery of the 2nd date romp

  1. He’s looking for something easy and convenient. He’s clearly lazy. Totally typically guy. The difference here is when you left him that morning he didn’t think about you or the sex again. On the other hand, as an emotional women, it’s probably all you thought about all week. Totally normal. He sucks and isn’t worth your time or your texts!

    • Yes, I agree with you. Not even a thought crossed his mind about me because he got what he wanted on the 2nd date! But it’s okay, I successfully weeded this one out early on by giving it up way too soon. Cross him off my list!

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  3. You thought of the guy as a random option, not relationship material. Why are you confused that he’s treating you in the exact same manner? He treated you like a random option by contacting you last night. You said you had plans, he moved on to whomever was next on his list.

    • I did realize he was not relationship material, but I did not treat him like that. I never said that, he shouldn’t have known that.
      But, that was kind of what I was asking with this post: did I give off the sign he wasn’t relationship material by sleeping with him too soon? Was I supposed to contact him after the sex first? And say what?
      Really..my burning question (and mystery to solve) is what did I do, if anything at all, to make him not think of me as relationship material?

      • I don’t think you did anything wrong. He was probably never interested in having a relationship with you in the first place. That’s out of your control. I don’t say that to be mean, just to point out that you didn’t necessarily do anything wrong. We always beat ourselves up and assume we made some huge error or said/did something wrong. In most cases it was just because they were just looking for something casual. Or you just weren’t what he considered relationship material. If you were thinking it, he was probably thinking it too.

  4. I just loved reading this! He’s playing hard to get! The fact he contacted you in the first place says something to me – you’re obviously on his mind – whether it’s a FWB situation or not!

    Don’t text him and see what happens..it’s an adventure! I met a previous ex of mine this way – had sex didn’t contact me for a month then saw me again in the pub and realised what he was missin – we were fuck buddies then lovers for a year!

    Men are strange strange beings! Enjoy x

    • Thanks for the thoughtful reply!
      It is true…he was thinking about me, or the sex, or something. Since I am not emotionally invested I am playing a game with him now just to see what he wants.

      And I agree with you…fuck buddies can lead to relationships and other crazy stuff. My ex of 7 years was a “one night stand”. There are no rules anymore. Go figure.

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  7. Awesome awesome post, Nikki Girl! LFMAO @ “So, like I was supposed to thank him for fucking me???” :::smack::: Can’t wait to find out what your investigative quest will reveal. Find out… so you can tell us! “Have a nice life, short shorts guy…” and…well… NEXT???

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