Get me my relationship attorney

I hate to admit that I actually watch the show, “Baggage“, but it is one of my guilty pleasures. Never has anything of use come out of watching this show except that looks really do matter. That all changed the other day.

For anyone not familiar with the concept of the show, I will briefly explain it. It is a dating show, and the contestants bring luggage bags symbolic of their ‘baggage’ that will be revealed. Each round is a larger bag (secret) they will reveal, and the contestants are eliminated based on thier baggage.

The show I watched the other day was groundbreaking, due to a very attractive, smart woman who was one of the contestants. She opened one of her bags to reveal that she made her dates sign a…drumroll please… pre-sex contract.

prenuptial cartoon

I immediately thought she was too full of herself. She brought out a sample. It was a couple of inches thick! Wait a second, I thought, this is brilliant. Not because I think it will stop guys from banging and leaving. Rather, I think it will make both parties think about what is really going on. Okay, the one-night-stand super-crazy-hot guy is the exception, fine. But how about the guy who could be ‘the one’.

I think this has potential to make him realize that you need to be respected in the relationship. And that, yes, you want to have sex, but you want it to progress into a relationship, as long as there is a mutual agreement on this.

So, here is your chance to spell out all of these terms, just like a legal document, you both know what you expect from eachother, and how it should be carried out. If one of you breaks the contract, the relationship is terminated, with no mess. Why can’t life and relationships be this simple?

couple in bed with attorneys

And while we’re on this subject, I would like to propose the idea of relationships reviews, just like I get from my boss at work. Both people get a chance to lay it all out on the table. What you like about the relationship, what you don’t like, what needs to be worked on in the upcoming year, and most importantly…where is the relationship headed. If there are any questions, bring in the relationship attorneys.

No more fighting about the status of the relationship, no more hidden agendas and no more being taken advantage of (from either side). Girls who want to get married have an effective way of weeding out all of the one-night-stands, game-players, and douchebags.

That being said, I’ll be spending the rest of the afternoon applying for law school…

4 thoughts on “Get me my relationship attorney

  1. This is a great post. Yearly reviews sound excellent. What has to be kept in mind for the upcoming year. Actually sounds excellent to me… (And how are the law school apps coming? I am pulling my hair out working on my personal statements…)

  2. the idea of contracts and love in general, scares me.

    …and is it only me, or does the no sex before marriage thing make a bigger mess of thing than anything. Like, i think its puts a rush on decisions that should be taken very carefully.

  3. Remember when a simple note on composition paper, composed with a no.2 pencil… with the simple and *direct* “do you like me” question… only required a check in the “yes” or “no” box? That’s a legally binding document, right?

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