So this whole internet dating thing is still so terrifying to me since my run-in with a psycho (who is still listed in my phone under ‘PSYCHO!’) and all of the creeps who make their motives perfectly clear by late-night booty IM-ing / texting.
Therefore, I have recently opted for a ‘virtual relationship’ with my top guy. Now that this idea has settled in for me, I realize I don’t want this status to change. I am ready to request a new facebook relationship status to ‘in an online relationship’.
For two and a half weeks now I have been talking to this guy. He has actually been out of town for the holidays, enabling us to develop this online relationship instead of meeting in person without any questions. However, he is due to come back this weekend, which is giving me some anxiety…not over meeting him, rather over not wanting to actually meet him.
These past two weeks have been great. We IM, text, or talk on the phone almost every day. We talk about our day, he gives me support, compliments me, tells me how much he likes me, and then… the sexting. The best part is that there are no scheduling conflicts. I talk to him while I’m at work, while I’m on the computer, and before I go to bed every night. I go to dinner with my girlfriends, or make myself dinner and watch t.v. while talking to him. There is no pressure, we are completely content. Well.. at least, I am. His plans are to see me as soon as he gets back. The feeling is not mutual. I do not want my perfect, Utopian relationship to end. I don’t want to meet him and realize I don’t like the way he smells, or discover that he has annoying habits that drive me up a wall, or worse yet, that he is a gross, real live boy. Why can’t I just have my fantasy?
All I want right now is my interactive romance novel…not a real relationship. Denial? Possibly. Fear? Possibly. I am willing to accept the reality of my situation, but I am not ready to deal with the reality of our situation…
I will delay this meeting as much as possible, but I am sure by mid next week I will have an interesting development in this story..