However, I have some personal advice to include. If you’re trying to date the ‘geek’ guy because he is safe, you have a lesson coming to you.
Hollywood doesn’t make the situation better. With movies like She’s Out of My League, we learn that geek guys + hot girl = true love and a happy ending.
During one of my fragile dating periods, I was so tired of the typical experienced douche-bag type of guy. I was tired of the aloof, ‘I could give a shit about you’ attitude because I can replace you in a heartbeat. There are a million hot girls out there, especially in LA.
So, I decided to make a change. I found myself a genuine geek. At the time, he was what I thought was the safe choice. After all, I was a good-looking girl, he was a geek. He could never in a million years get a girl like me.
So, I pursued him. Intensely. That was the only way he was going to get the idea that I actually wanted him. I wasn’t pushing him into anything. He wanted it, he just never imagined he was going to get it. He was ready for the ‘friends’ situation.
All was good for awhile. No more games. I called him, he answered. I texted him, he texted back…within 20 minutes every time. I was completely content. If I had nothing else going on that night, I would call him and he would come over.
He was in awe over me. Everything I did, he complimented me. He thought I was amazing and told me so. Never in my life have I had such an open, no games experience as this.
It was a very strange situation because I was in love with my new idol status. I loved the way he never played games with me. However, I was not in love with him. He was so extremely immature with the lack of relationship experience. I let this slide for awhile, but it then became apparent we were in two completely different worlds.
The ‘relationship’ became strained because he assumed we were in an intense relationship after about 2 months while I was still openly dating other people. It seemed as though all of those house calls translated into ‘serious’ relationship for him.
He decided that he couldn’t take it anymore and he told me he had never been in a relationship before and didn’t intend to be because he didn’t have time (typical). He genuinely wanted to be just friends, minus the sex part. I, of course, declined.
Ironically, the ‘safe’ guy was the only guy that ever spontaneously broke up with me. Other relationships I’ve had ended with a mutual decision, with both of us trying to work things and then mutually deciding it wasn’t meant to be.
With geek guy, I was in my own world. I was a bitch and treated him like my property and was annoyed when he didn’t act like it.
Thanks to this eye-opening experience, I have learned that dating someone out of your league does not equal a happy ending. Stay within a few ranges of your own league because you then have similar relationship experiences and connect on the most important level – emotional.
Funny enough, I was slightly blowing off another guy that was in my league in every way because I wanted to be ‘safe’. I reconnected with him shortly after this experience and realized we clicked and was mature enough to give me another chance.
Moral of the story: There is no ‘safe’ option in dating. Just prepare to get hurt and deal with it.