A short digression from my normal writing….Welcome to my long overdue rant.
I AM SO OVER:
- THE DATING ‘GAME’ – I won’t think any less of you if you call or text me before 3 days, or whatever the standard guy code interval is now. As long as you’re not psycho-calling/texting me every day, most of the day, I think NOT waiting for this stupid interval lets me know you’re really interested and thinking about me. Why does it have to be more complicated than that? And if I can’t immediately text you back because I’m genuinely busy, why do you feel the need to wait LONGER than my last interval to text me back? Maybe it’s just a coincidence, but it sure feels like a game to me, and overall makes me LESS interested in YOU.
- LAME (YAWN) OPENING LINES– Whether it’s in a bar or an online message, please, please, PLEASE have something interesting to say to me. I find that more and more guys just do not know how to start a conversation. Unless you’re crazy hot, I am not going to give you a break on this. I do not want to hear the same pickup line 20 times in one night…yawn…I am so flipping bored. If I look bored, I am (PLEASE don’t ask me), and you think of something more stimulating to talk about.
- DRAMATIZED PSYCHO – just saw the Social Network for the 2nd time the other day. I have no delusions about the fact this movie does not glamorize women. However, I became more aggravated the second time around about the girlfriend ‘psycho’ scene. Yes, she set fire to the trash can…but girls, hear me out. Imagine this story is being told from a guy’s perspective. Consider everything else that happened in that scene. He was gone for a very long time and she was upset. He came back into town and yes, he had a rough trip, but he also had no decency to even send a few word text to let her know he was back in town. Guys do this ALL the time. Seriously, whatever is going on in your life, if you care enough about your girlfriend, you will let her know what’s going on. Two minute text. How hard is that. Now, the other element in this scene is the fire stunt. I BET YOU whatever guy told this story to his friends, he MADE THIS UP to dramatize the fact the girl is a psycho. And yes, he was in the middle of creating history, so maybe he actually had an excuse to blow off the women in his life. However, MOST guys in real life are NOT making history. They may think they are and whatever pathetic thing they have going on in their life may seem way more important than the woman in their life. But let me assure you of one thing: you are not making history and your girl-if you love/like her- is way more important than what you have going on, so you should treat her like that. Or at least…take two minutes to send a text.
- GUYS WHO WANT TO BE FRIENDS – Guys, please help me understand this phenomenon that is becoming increasingly more prevalent amongst women I talk to. What is with the “I don’t want to date you, I want to be your friend”. REALLY?? I mean, really… Number 1: I don’t buy it. There is an ulterior motive somewhere there. Here are some options. A. This is really code for “FUCK BUDDIES”. B. This is him trying to prove his point that he doesn’t want to use you for sex (yes, we are on to you). C. He wants to break up with you but doesn’t have the balls to do it properly. D. My favorite…he respects you so much he wants to fall in love with you on a friend level first, find his best friend, and then fall in love with you as his soul mate at which point you will have heavenly sex (this option is of course, my fairy tale). Number 2: This is extremely INSULTING. No matter what scenario we can fantasize in our heads, the reality is that you are really not that into us. Either you want us as a friend – which means you are not sexually attracted. Or you want us as a booty call – which means you are not interested in what we have to say. So, please, guys, what the hell is the point of this?? You may as well divulge the secret because whatever the desired outcome, it is NOT working, and is only further pissing us off. In case you didn’t get it the first time: I DON”T WANT TO BE YOUR FUCKING FRIEND.
And that is my rant. It may not be the most coherent post I will ever write, but at least I got it all out. Now it’s time for more chocolate and a dose of Pamprin…