Speaking of movies as mentioned in my Twitter feed, I wanted to bring up a point about chick flicks. I was watching Burlesque with Christina Aguilera during my girl’s night out, and decided to distract myself from the bad acting by analyzing and comparing the plot of every chick flick/romantic comedy I have ever seen. I noted one crucial piece of poison they were feeding us – the conflict and resolution part that occurs in every movie. Makes for an entertaining movie, but not for a good real life relationship. But it is poison because it is fed to us, we take it, and destroy our relationships with it.
Chick flicks give false hope to us chicks. Yes, I may be preaching to the choir, but sometimes us girls subconsciously mimic things in these movies hoping to get a desired effect. And then we get upset because the guy in our life doesn’t respond in the predicted manner. Because he has never seen that chick flick! Chick flicks are adorable and entertaining, but beware, they are toxic!
Case in point. Every cookie cutter chick flick begins with the sweet love story and somewhere in the middle develops into an argument. This is what is called the conflict in a movie script. The conflict is presented so that a resolution can occur and everyone in the theater can feel happy.
Now, take this example and apply it to your life. How many times have you felt your relationship wasn’t going the way you wanted it to. So, you start a fight. Just like the chick flick, you test the limits of your love story. Your unexpected response catches your poor guy off guard and they respond in their typical dumb guy way. I won’t even try to pretend I know what’s going on in their heads. But unknown to them, you have launched an attack in which the goal is to test them. In our heads, we expect they are going to prove to us how much they love us. In their heads, we are being overly emotional and needy.
Here is a handy comparison chart that shows what is going on:
Her: he’ll get me flowers to apologize
Him: I don’t know what the hell is going on so maybe I’ll go watch football at my buddy’s house
Her: he’ll realize he doesn’t woo me like he used to
Him: stay the hell away from her tonight, she is clearly PMS ing
Her: he’ll realize he only wants me
Him: that girl is crazy, maybe I should find another one
Her: I’ll get him to spend more time with me
Him: I’m going to sleep at my buddy’s house for the next few days and then not call until she’s calmed down
Her: I’ll open up the lines of communication
Him: I’ll stop calling her, period
I have done this many more times than I can count and I’ve always been frustrated with the outcome. Relationships do not get better with conflict and chick flicks should stop leading us to believe they do.
So there you have it-why chicks flicks are toxic.
Here is a video to take you through some of the movies that should be viewed as entertainment only.