The Bitch Formula

I am very confused. I remember sitting in my college calculus classes having this same feeling. How did I get so lost? Everything made sense at the beginning of the problem, and somewhere, about half way down the white board I completely lost it.

This is how I feel most of the time about dating: it is a really long, confusing calculus problem that no one ever really understands, they just pretend they know what’s going on and somehow a few people get to the end of the problem with the right solution. The rest of us, well, we are just fumbling around looking for the right solutions….for a really, really long time.

Basic dating math

I’ve talked to many guys about the numbers they give to women. It is not as simple as we would expect, guys don’t rate on a beauty factor alone. I hear this conversation from guys all the time:

“She would have been a 9 or 10, but she is such a bitch, it makes her a 6”

This statement makes me assume guys hate it when girls are bitches. This was a game-changing insight for me because my natural tendency is to be a “bitch”. I am sarcastic, cynical and have a biting sense of humor. So now every time I meet someone I might actually be interested in, I suppress this part of my personality for fear I will drive the guy I like away. But in the end, the guy I like stops talking to me regardless of whether I zipped up my bitchiness or not.

The Dating Calculus Problem

This is the math conundrum I have been struggling with in the last week. Two recent experiences have made me reconsider if all guys secretly want the bitch to emerge….which seems counter-intuitive when trying to figure out how to get the end result: a relationship.

Here is my mathematical evidence:

So this leaves me deflated and confused. Ready? Here comes the really complicated part of the problem when the teacher is scribbling really fast and you were lost three lines ago:

=>I can’t have the guy I want and be nice. I can’t be a bitch and have the guy I want. Guys complain about girls being bitches yet ignore me when I’m not a bitch. If I’m trying really, really hard to be a bitch I can’t scare off a guy no matter what I say. I can’t be nice in the beginning to get a guy and then be a bitch and have a relationship with a guy.

Therefore I think I am left with this:

=>if I can’t attract a guy  by being nice and I can’t form a relationship by being a bitch…then it logically follows that I must: be just enough of a bitch to attract a guy I like and then quickly switch over to nice as soon as there is any sign of a relationship.

It’s seems logical, but does it work it self out in real life?

3 thoughts on “The Bitch Formula”

1. Fly92

Wow, this was really interesting, can’t say I can relate to you first proof but I totally get where you’re coming from on the 2nd one. I’m currently seeing a nice guy,I mean a really nice guy and he too said he wasn’t great at communicating through text messages and phone converse but it’s been 4 months now, and I feel like I still have chase after him. Time to be a little aggressive ;3

2. Paul

Young adults play games. Most adults never grow up and take a relationship as a life commitment. These people are dangerous to adults that are dating to find a partner to enjoy lifes experiences together. A bitch is a woman who is trying to get what she wants, and will never be satisfied. A bitch will get the man the last bitch has dumped. The next man a bitch will get would have been dumped by the last bitch. The conclusion to this story is a bitch will never stop bitching.